Staying Pure in a Fornication Nation

There were some raised eyebrows last week on the campus of Southeastern University in Lakeland, FL, when Lee Grady hosted a special meeting—the day before Valentine's Day—on the subject of fornication. Lee is the Editor of Charisma Magazine.

Now "fornication" is not a word you normally associate with a lecture topic, but hey, he had to get attention. And since the hormones on most college campuses are as dense as Florida humidity, he figured the kids would be all ears when he attacked the subject.

He was right. He said that at times you could hear a pin drop in the auditorium, especially when he talked about how most American young people aren't even sure how to define sexual activity anymore. (Today's college seniors were nine years old when President Clinton tried to redefine sex during the Lewinsky scandal.) At other times the students burst into nervous laughter, especially when he told how he gave his son-in-law a lecture about sexual boundaries in front of 700 of his classmates when he was dating Lee's oldest daughter.

"Losing one's virginity used to be a serious issue, but today fornication is just a standard sitcom plot device," he said.

His thoughts on "fornication" are excellent and even for the married person, make a quick refresher course in self-control...since we live in a nation that is losing all moral restraint. Here is part one of what he told that group at Southeastern. I'll bring you part two tomorrow.


"1. Don't redefine your morality. I've seen Christian young people roll their eyes when I say the word "fornication" because it sounds so much like King James English—sort of like "sodomy," another word we avoid in our PC culture. But we need to be careful how we bend the meaning of words. Terms that are in the Bible should not vanish from our modern vocabulary just because they offend some of the hosts of The View.

"When "fornication" is used in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 ("For this is the will of God ... that ye should abstain from fornication" KJV), the Greek word is porneia. It's the root word for pornography, but it means a lot more than sexually explicit material. It includes sex between unmarried people, homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, incest and adultery.

"According to the apostle Paul, sex as God intended is limited to marriage between one man and one woman. Period. The Episcopal Church has no right to broaden the definition. Neither do Bill Clinton, Newsweek, Oprah or HBO. Don't let moral relativism infect your brain.

"2. Don't sell your birthright. Losing one's virginity used to be a serious issue, but today fornication is just a standard sitcom plot device. It's considered normal. People are considered weird if they didn't have sex by age 14; and if anybody dares to teach abstinence in a public school he is labeled a Neanderthal.

"In TV shows like Desperate Housewives, Nip/Tuck or Grey's Anatomy, life revolves around who's in bed with whom. There's even a TV series on Showtime called Californication that follows the life of a sex addict. What TV producers don't usually explore are the consequences of immorality. Audiences probably wouldn't laugh if the couples hooking up on these shows had to deal with genital warts, gonorrhea, AIDS, abortions, post-abortion trauma or clinical depression—all real fallout from illicit sexual behavior.

"If you are a single person today—whether you have lost your virginity or not—it's time to reclaim your purity and save sex for marriage. We've forgotten the story of Esau, who forfeited his birthright through one stupid act. He traded his inheritance for a bowl of stew. You really can throw your life away through one act of fornication."

Tomorrow, I'll bring you points 3 through 5. This is just plain, good advice for today, and especially for today's Christians.

Grace...is not a blue-eyed blonde!

I struggle with this. I must admit it. How do we really "hate sin...but love the sinner?" Then I read that we have all sinned...yet God loves us anyway. Really? How does that happen?

I am currently teaching a class on "Grace" using Phillip Yancey's book, "What's So Amazing About Grace." I must admit that this thing about "grace" really troubles me. I mean, can I really love people who are different? Can I really live in grace towards others? Do I?

I remember 35 years ago when I wasn't so "grace filled." I had a very hard, prejudiced, narrow view of divorce. Now, I still understand Jesus' words about divorce, and the Biblical perspective against it. But...I didn't deal with much grace when it came to loving people in these situations. I'm sorry to say I lost touch with a good friend because of my harsh dealings when he went through a divorce. Really, I did not act in much love...but boy, was I ever theologically correct. No matter...I did not function in grace.

Hopefully I, and much of the church, have learned to act with much more grace towards those who have struggled with divorce. As Phillip Yancey states, "Today a divorced person is not shunned, banned from churches, spit upon, screamed at. Even those who consider divorce a sin have come to accept the sinners and treat them with civility, and even love." He goes on to list other areas of life where we have learned to accept the person without approving of the behavior. I count myself among those today.

So, where is my struggle? Today's cultural "hot-button" is the homosexual issue. It divides our culture, and especially the church. Can Christians have firm views about ethical behavior, and yet still demonstrate love?

So, how do I come to accept, like Jesus, those whose behavior I view as sinful, yet treat them with civility and...gasp, even love? Can we learn to accept the person without approving of the behavior?

Look at Jesus, if you dare. He gained the reputation as being a "friend of sinners"...like the prostitute, a wealthy exploiter, a demon-possessed woman, a Roman soldier, a Samaritan with running sores, another Samaritan with serial husbands. How do I emulate that kind of behavior?

Can I see through the guilt-laden person to the person whom God loves? Can I honestly grieve over them because they are doing wrong? As Helmut Thielicke once wrote, "Jesus was able to love men because He loved them right through the layer of mud."

Can I? Well, I'm learning. Perhaps as I show the love of Jesus, even though I do not agree with a behavior, that person will be drawn by my love. My prayer is that God will help me love as never before. Is that possible? I'm finding out.

Grow Up

It is Sunday night. I'm tired, but my mind is still churning on some thoughts from this morning. I'm still pondering that radical posting of the Apostle Paul when he said, "Here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering."

Paul then continues in this radical challenge, "Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him." Why in the world? What is there about this that is the best thing for us?

Well, Paul goes on to say, "Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You will be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, developing well-formed maturity in you." Honest...I found this in the Message Bible, Romans 12:1-2.

Wow...He is looking for maturity. He wants us to grow up. What a concept. Instead of looking like the immature culture around us, let's take a little courage (ok, a whole lot of courage) and allow Him to change us on the inside. That's where the decisions are made anyway. So as we are changed, we can respond to Him in positive ways.

What is that response? Here's the response that Chuck Swindoll wrote years ago, and I shared them with our church this morning...

"Lord...in this body there are certain drives and many desires. In my eyes, there are interests that are not from You. In these ears of mine, and in these hands, and in various parts of my body, there are things that are attracted, like a magnet, to the world system. Therefore, I deliberately and willingly give You my eyes...my ears...all of my senses...my thought processes...I give them to You as an act of worship. I am Yours, Lord. Please take control of each one of these areas."

What a prayer! What a confession! I deliberately choose to follow Him, to submit myself to Him...as an act of worship.

Seems to me that when we make the choice that our entire life is submitted to Him, then we are allowing Him to come help us grow up, to become mature. Really, I don't care how fast you are growing, I just want to see some movement, some growth. So come on, grow up...at your own pace, of course. Besides, it is about the best thing you can do for yourself. Courage, my friend, courage!

Two Absolutes

There are two absolutes in the Christian life: law and grace. Jesus came and fulfilled the law, and then made it possible for us to live by grace. The only problem is that grace requires more of us than the law did. So how are we, who could never keep the law, now to be capable of living by grace, when the standard of grace is so much higher than the law?

Jesus, in Matthew 5, referred to the law, and reminded us that we were commanded not to murder. Then...He tells us that if we call our brother a name, we've committed murder in our heart. He reminds us that the law says we are not to commit adultery. Now He says that if we lust in our heart, we have committed adultery with her in our heart.

He upped the standard. He raised the bar so high none of us could get over it. He gives us commands for a life that is impossible...unless we develop a relationship with Him. Seems that's what He is after in the first place. That relationship allows the Holy Spirit to abide within us, directing, motivating, leading and guiding us...and making it possible for us to accomplish the impossible.

Now that is good news. Here is how Paul says it in Galatians 2:19-21 (from the Message Bible):

"What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be "God's man."

"Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with Him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

"I am not going back on that!"

Wow...what a way to go. Count me in!