I was raised on the old King James version (KJ) of the Bible. Please note that it is a "version," often called the 1611 version, as old King James authorized a "contemporary" version of the Bible for common folk in that year (or so we're told). The phrasing and syntax of the Elizabethan English version has stood the test of time and for several hundred years has been an accepted standard Bible version.
Today, however, we have a number of wonderful versions available. The NIV has been a very accepted and is easy to read. My standard for many decades has been the NKJ, or "New King James," as I am very comfortable with the old KJ syntax, but the NKJ updates the "thee's & thou's" for me. Today I love the Message Bible for its contemporary language, as well as the Living Bible and for study, I often use the Amplified Bible (but not for memorization!).
It has been fun for us in our Bible studies to listen to different versions as they put their particular "slant" to a certain verse or portion of the Bible we are studying. As a church, we have not put our "stamp of approval" on any one version, and with computerized or on-line Bible programs, we now have a myriad of versions to compare as we study. We just encourage people to find a Bible version they are comfortable with, and if questioned, we recommend one of the versions already mentioned. The bottom line is this: get into the Bible, study it, get to know it!
Now, in light of that, I have come across the following contemporary, 'politically correct' version of the well-known Psalms 23. Read on...and weep!
POLITICALLY CORRECT CONTEMPORARY 23rd PSALM
"The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship, and I am in a position of negative need.
"He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area, and conducts me into lateral proximity with a non-torrential aqueous accumulation.
"He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological makeup.
"Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the non- illuminated geological interstice of mortality, terror sensations shall not be manifest within me due to the proximity of omnipotence.
"Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped-restraint module induce in me a pleasurific mood state.
"You design and produce a nutrient-bearing support structure in the context of non-cooperative elements.
"You enact a head-related folk ritual utilizing vegetable extracts, and my beverage container exhibits inadequate volumetric parameters.
"Surely it must be an intrinsic non-deductible factor that your inter- relational, emphatic, and non-vengeful attributes will pursue me as their target focus for the duration of the current non-death period.
"And I will possess tenant rights in the residential facility of the Lord on a permanently open-ended time basis.
(Maurizio Mariotti)
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